Having friends on tumblr is really great. I often refer to you guys in real life as “my friend from england/autralia/california/new york” and it makes people think I’m very well traveled when really I’ve just spent a lot of time on the Internet.

OMG THIS IS MEEEE I seriously talk about all of you guys like we just went on a coffee date or something and part of me knows it’s creepy but the other part doesn’t care enough to stopppp

Hello, lovers!

Whenever I post about me “falling off the wagon” or “messing up” when it comes to eating habits, I always think, this is it. People are finally going to be sick of this and stop reading this blog. And every single time, you guys surprise me by providing me with support, kind words, and endless amounts of love. I don’t even know WHY I’m surprised at all, at this point! So thank you, lovers, for being so good to me as always and keeping me motivated <3 

I will say this, though—I will never stop trying. I will never quit. I will never be so discouraged that I just STOP. 

It does not matter how slow you go, so long as you do not stop, right? 


My mom and I always joke about how I’ve got a great rejection bounce-back rate, and even though that’s kinda sorta embarrassing, I’m also proud of it.

Get rejected by a job? Apply for another. Get rejected by a guy? There’ll be another who appreciates you more. Mess up with weight loss? Start a clean slate with your eating during the next meal, or the next morning. Get pooped on by life? Make tomorrow better. 

So you know, I did eat clean yesterday, took all my vitamins, and drank lots of water. I got some healthy snacks to stick in the car again in case I get cravings; I find that that helps me a lot. I also raided my parents’ fridge—no, they cannot get rid of me—this morning for fruit, thanks guys! 

Summer, and my friend’s wedding, are right around the corner now! It truly is crunch time, to make sure I am as happy and as healthy as possible for these events. 


If there were actually a wagon that means I’ve fallen off of it!

This past week has been the worst one I’ve had since 2013 when it comes to food and exercise. And water. Right now my body is probably like, “But what IS water, though? I miss it. Bring it back to me. Bitch.” 

It’s funny what can happen to your body in such a short period of time. My pants feel tighter already, my stomach is feeling gross on the inside and bloated on the outside, my energy levels have lowered, I feel like I ballooned back up to my old weight while simultaneously understanding that that didn’t happen. I am still a 6 now. I can still wear medium-sized shirts. There is no need to revert back to what I came from. But I definitely don’t feel good. 

I allowed the news of the sprain in my back to get me down. I decided to just eat my feelings instead of push past it like I originally wanted to. The arrival of Easter didn’t help anything—yesterday I basically ate my body weight in Reeses eggs—but that’s an excuse that I’m not proud to have made. 

Last Monday I woke up feeling optimistic. I did two workouts, I started off “right.” Then my back pain kicked in and I let myself get consumed by it. 

It’s Monday again, and mentally I’m back where I need to be. I know that because exercise is going to be much more sparse for the next couple of weeks while my back heals, I absolutely NEED to focus on my nutrition. I need to eat clean and I need to suck down water like there’s no tomorrow. If I don’t, and I pair that with the lack of exercise, I’ll quickly go back to where I was, and I’m not willing to do that. 

I’ve come so far from where I was, and I’ve still got so far to go. But I’m not going to let an injury stop that from happening; people get injured all the time, and much worse than I have. In the grand scheme of things, this is no big deal. 

I’m now officially signed up to be a Beachbody coach. I just need to get everything in order to really jump in and get started! But this can be another motivator for me to stay on track, so for that, I am thankful =] 


I’ve been looking for a black spiked headband for forever, and last night, a customer came in wearing the exact one I’ve wanted. I complimented him on it and asked where he found it, and he said he couldn’t remember, then pulled it off his head and insisted I take it. When I asked if he was serious, he responded with, “honey, I would not be offering if I weren’t dead serious!”

LOVE IT! I love fun strangers! I tried to say no but he was persistent, so now I’ve got it sitting in my room ready to wear to work for my next shift =] 

I paid it forward by giving another guest my ring that she was in love with. I told her if it fit her she could take it, and turns out it fit perfectly. It looked better on her anyway! 

Anonymous asked:

You should check out OCC Lip Tars! They have tons of bright, beautiful colors and they're vegan, too!

You know, I always tell myself to buy some of their stuff to check out and I NEVER do, I have no idea why. I will make one [or three] of those my next makeup purchase [outside of Target] in your honor, helpful anon =] Thanks!

Makeup talk!

This isn’t relevant to fitness butttt it’s relevant to the super girly side of my life since I work in the beauty industry! 

Do any of you follow Doe Deere, Lime Crime’s CEO, on Instagram? 

Because I do—or I did, not anymore—and was online the other night when she took a screenshot of when she called one of her customers a dumbass for stating that not all of Lime Crime is vegan. 

Lime Crime appeals to me because, as you guys know, I love me some bright ass colors. Back in the day, when I was 18 or so, I wore bright eyeshadow all the time. Now I’ve moved on to bright and bold lips. Lime Crime has a pretty good variety of crazy colors, and when I came across their CEO on Instagram I was intrigued by her fun appearance and the fact that she was so pro-positivity, so I started following her. 

I have a few issues with what she did the other night:

  1. Awkwardddd, but not all of Lime Crime IS vegan. So to call someone a dumbass over stating that fact is just…kind of a dumbass move to me. They’re vegan NOW, but they weren’t always. 
  2. I understand that having people rag on you nonstop is hard. I’ve dealt with online bullies myself, and it was difficult keeping my mouth shut and my fingers away from the keyboard because all you want to do is rip someone a new one. But as the CEO of a major company, I think that comment would have been an amazing opportunity to say, “Hey, you know what? We weren’t always vegan, but we are now! Please check out the website to learn more!” and leave it at that. 
  3. People are trying to say that it was done in self-defense and in the heat of the moment. Calling her a dumbass was probably done in the heat of the moment, I’m sure. Screen-shotting the conversation and posting it was not. 
  4. Neither was sitting online for hours afterwards, sending her customers rude messages back, like, “shut up before I embarrass you too,” to one person who said that they didn’t think calling her fan a dumbass was necessary. 
  5. Neither was the message she posted THE NEXT DAY, about how the world needs more women who don’t take shit from anyone.
  6. This woman has a “NO BULLYING/NEGATIVITY” post on her page. Like, that’s her description for her page…so…do you not think that by exposing this girl’s Instagram username you weren’t opening her up to be bullied by your thousands of followers? Doe Deere has 100k+ followers, and tons of them went directly to that girl’s page and started ragging on her. Instead of taking her name down, she was like, HAHAHA THAT’S WHAT SHE GETS. 

I think women need to not take shit from anyone, too. I agree with that. But there’s a difference between taking shit from someone and just plain ragging on the people who are supporting you. She deleted a lot of her rude comments, but left the majority of the stuff up, so clearly she isn’t sorry. She also told everyone to get off her personal IG—which is LARGELY work-based—if they didn’t like it, and that she didn’t care if they left. 

This chick devotes a large part of her posts to sharing the “real-life dollhouse” she’s making for herself, which is a pink-painted palace with everything she’s ever wanted in it. 

Who’s paying for that place? All her “dumbass” customers. 

So yeah, not really interested in supporting this woman anymore. A quick Google search also revealed other times in the past where she’s fought with her customers and threatened a blogger who gave her lipsticks a negative review with legal action. 

I know me not buying from her won’t make a difference, but I’m still not going to play a part in her playing dress-up in her dollhouse. Thanks but no thanks. I can get my crazy colors elsewhere, and thanks to that IG drama I came across—awesome colors with great reviews, in case anyone wants to check them out =] 

Today was nice. I went to lunch with Laura and World’s Cutest Baby (please see: on the right), then met up with OTHER Laura (the one I write about every effing day) and our friend Roxanne to go to a peony farm! The garden was beautiful but it was a bad surprise to find out that you can’t take any flowers home yet. I wanted to surprise my mom with a few (AWW, I know, right?! CUTIE) but alas it will have to wait.

Back to work tomorrow! Hopefully my back doesn’t pull any fast ones and bust out with the hardcore pain again. I’m currently curled up in bed with my friends vicodin and Icy Hot patch, so I’m hoping that helps!

The diagnoses!

I went to the doctor yesterday afternoon, and am glad that I did; an hour before my appointment, the crazy intense pain came back, which was just terrifying yet again. So freaky having so much pain shoot through my body! 

The official diagnoses is a sacroiliac sprain. Or, as I like to say….my sac hurts. AHAHA SORRY I’M TOO IMMATURE FOR THESE THINGS MY BAD. I have a minimum recovery time of 3 weeks, and T25 is definitely not allowed, which makes me SO sad. It’s so weird to not see Shaun T every morning! But no hardcore exercise for 3 weeks, at least, and no fast movement or anything jarring that could add to the inflammation. 

I have to keep an eye out on how my legs feel; if the numbness persists or there’s constant pain in my legs, then we have a big problem. 

But for now, my disc seems to be fine and I’m glad it wasn’t anything more severe. My doctor told me that the last girl she saw for this couldn’t even walk, so I’m definitely grateful to still have my mobility, despite the fact that I’m moving slowly. 

So yeah! There’s that! We’ll see how it goes! For now, I’ve got James taking great care of me and will be taking it easy till things start feeling back to normal. 

Thanks again guys! I really appreciate the support and instead of being down about being out of commission for a bit, I’m gonna focus on easy workouts, getting my nutrition set up nicely, and setting up my Beachbody team =] 

A break can be a good thing and I’m determined to make it that way.

Reason #3472342932 to love James

Sorry this blog is basically, “Wahhhh I can’t stop binging,” and “I love Shaun T 4EVR” and “MY BOYFRIEND IS THE BEST,” but seriously, my boyfriend is the best. 

James went on a RANT last night about how eating disorders are a legitimate problem in society and how more people—with an emphasis on men—need to stop making women believe that they need to look a certain way. He said he was disgusted by the fact that magazines airbrush, that he hates how men pressure women into looking one way and then ragging on them when they finally do, and that he feels bad for young girls who may not yet have the confidence to grow up looking and feeling the way they want to. 

When James and I met I was around 120-125 lbs, which I loved being. So I was pretty thin around that time. Since then I’ve gone from being over 150 pounds to where I am now, most likely around 138 but with much less fat content than before. 

And at every single weight, this guy has told me I look amazing. He’s told me every day that I look beautiful. He’s told me he loves my body and everything about it. The only reason he cared about my binging was because he wanted me to be healthy and happy; he wasn’t disgusted by it when I began to give him details. He just said, “What can I do to help?” 

If I have a full face on for work or a night out, James thinks I look pretty.

If I have makeup smeared on my face from 8 hours ago and I’ve sweated half of it off, James thinks I look pretty. 

If I have absolutely no makeup on my face and haven’t plucked my eyebrows in a week, James thinks I look pretty. 

James genuinely cares about womens’ health. And to me, that is just another huge reason to be in love with this person. He does his best to understand and educate himself on what’s going on with me, and he knows that eating disorders are a disease and one that women [and men, while we’re at it] should not be faulted for because they’re suffering through it.

During this rant, I could not think of anything else besides, I am so proud that you are mine. 

So, I mean, for the most part my motivation to get healthy is as follows: 
Finally break free of my unhealthy food and exercise habits for ME and make it so I can live a long, healthy, active lifestyle
My brother being in Afghanistan is a big motivator; I know how much hard work he puts in and I want him to be impressed when he comes back and sees all the work I did, too
Finally transform into the kind of fit, hard-working person I&#8217;ve always admired
Yeah yeah yeah that&#8217;s all good and nice and all butttt I&#8217;d be lying if I said that SOME motivation isn&#8217;t ALSO the fact that Laura and I have said for years now that we would both be Princess Jasmine for Halloween. She&#8217;s going to be the blue version and I&#8217;m going to be in red. I will not half-ass this costume. I REFUSE. 
2014 is the year of getting shit done and that includes being an epic Princess Jasmine for my favorite holiday.

So, I mean, for the most part my motivation to get healthy is as follows: 

  • Finally break free of my unhealthy food and exercise habits for ME and make it so I can live a long, healthy, active lifestyle
  • My brother being in Afghanistan is a big motivator; I know how much hard work he puts in and I want him to be impressed when he comes back and sees all the work I did, too
  • Finally transform into the kind of fit, hard-working person I’ve always admired

Yeah yeah yeah that’s all good and nice and all butttt I’d be lying if I said that SOME motivation isn’t ALSO the fact that Laura and I have said for years now that we would both be Princess Jasmine for Halloween. She’s going to be the blue version and I’m going to be in red. I will not half-ass this costume. I REFUSE. 

2014 is the year of getting shit done and that includes being an epic Princess Jasmine for my favorite holiday.


Exciting shit

  • Tomorrow I will officially be signed up as a Beachbody coach—so yes, I will have my own team and yes I would love to have YOU on it if you’re interested in joining me =] More details tomorrow though after I’m all done signing up!
  • I got my T25 “NAILED IT” shirt today!! I was SO happy to see the package sitting on my porch before I left for work! I was like YAAAASSSSSSS….seriously, out loud, because the neighbors don’t already think I’m weird enough
  • James’ mama and sister brought over some meds and a heating pack for me to help with my back, and I’m going to see the doctor tomorrow, so I will definitely be updating about that. Thanks again to everyone for all the support! You guys are so awesome! I really appreciate all of the messages and comments, it’s so amazing to see how much people band together on this site when you need something.