yesterday my family went to BJ’s to celebrate father’s day. i don’t go to BJ’s very often but every time i do i realize how much i love it, but the issue with that is i also love their most calorie-ridden food, too. everything was looking at was 1,000+ calories. boyfriend and i have been doing a good job at eating organic foods in normal proportions, and im happy about that, but faced with the bj’s menu i was extremely tempted to cheat. extremely.
to be “good,” i flipped to the ‘lite’ menu and saw that they offered a vegetarian mini pizza that was only 500 calories. it looked good, but i really wanted a burger or a quesadilla and of course those were in the 1,500 range. this was when the internal dialogue began.
i had a lot of choices in that moment. i could either stick to feeling good and being happy with my eating decisions of late, or i could be lazy and just eat whatever i felt like in the moment and probably pay for it later. i told myself that i need to start making the choices that will lead to long-term success. i also had jenna marbles’ infamous, “think of your butt, think of your butt!” phrase pop into my head at that moment, which is really what pushed me over the edge into being a good girl and sticking with the mini pizza. thank youuuu, jenna mourey. you fucking hero.
when the servers put our plates on the table, my mom and i made eye contact as we saw my mini pizza touch down and realized how tiny it was and we both burst out laughing. everyone else’s plates were huge and full of food, and i had this tiny plate of some weenie pizza in front of me. i was sure i wouldn’t be full after eating it and was frustrated that i was ‘stuck’ eating something so small with so many epic choices in front of me. i was also frustrated because i caught a glimpse of the dr. pepper cream soda that they’re currently offering, and was annoyed that any kind of soda makes me break out/feel like crap.
well, that being said, my mini pizza was awesome. it had fresh tomato, bell pepper, onion, and lots of other great veggies as a topping. and the crust was freaking great. i could eat that crap all day. when we were done, i was definitely full, but didn’t feel gross or like i’d over-done it. i also turned the table menu around so the dr. pepper drink wasn’t staring me in the face, and finished my glass of water. i was happy and felt good, and everyone else—go figure—felt like shit for the rest of the day because their burgers were too much.
i was full till dinnertime came around, and boyfriend and i made the lamb burgers on organic buns with cucumber slices and lots of water and all was right.
i need to continuously talk myself out of making bad choices. splurging sometimes is ok, and necessary, but i cant make excuses for myself every single time. i do something fun nearly every day, so if i told myself all the time—“well its girls’ night, so i’ll eat this!” or “it’s fathers day, so i’ll eat this!” or “it’s date night, so i’ll drink this!” or “it’s melissa’s dog’s birthday, so i’ll eat this!” i could literally make an excuse for almost every single day, and then where would i be? back where i started, or worse.
i’d like to pat myself on the back for talking myself out of a 1000+ calorie burger i did not need, and look forward to saying no to other crap in the coming weeks until im 100% back in control of my eating habits!