Peace out, pudge!

i was naturally thin, a girl who proudly flaunted her body and the fact that it took nothing to keep it looking toned and tiny. binge-eating entered the picture in my early 20s, and the pounds packed on. in 2010 i took off 20+ pounds, but after getting my first "big girl job" in an office and having access to free food, i gave in and gained it all back. since then, it's been a roller coaster of gaining and losing weight AND gaining and losing love for my body. currently, i'm recovering from a back injury and still striving to get my body to look the way i want it to, but throughout the journey i've found a self-appreciation i never had before. if you're okay with some dirty words, lame jokes, and lots of cat pictures, follow along to keep up with my progress. i promise to always keep it interesting. <3
Posts tagged "hangover"

I see that I have a bunch of messages and I promise I will get back to everyone today but right now I just want to curl up and die. Or barf, THEN die—yeah, that sounds good!

Laura and I cut out a snowflake last night and taped it to the TV. Any time it lined up with someone’s face, we drank. And it lined up with Anna’s or Hans’ big ass face like every 10 seconds, so a cute screening of Frozen turned into a massive hangover for me :(

I’m hungover. I went to Dave & Buster’s last night with my coworkers for a birthday celebration and apparently thought that mixing every alcohol on the planet was a good idea. WHYYY, SELF?! I had a really good time, though, and so did the birthday girl so that’s all that matters.

I woke up and requested a greasy cheeseburger, but James politely reminded me that I’m trying to stay on track and will likely regret that burger later, so instead I had grapefruit and strawberries for breakfast.

We’re about to head out on a 2 mile walk around the lake across the street from our apartment and then grab some Jamba Juice for lunch. I’m going to get tomorrow’s meals ready when we get home.

i got bottle service for a friend’s birthday last night as her gift, and we were given a bottle of belvedere [i dont care if thats not how you spell it. AHHH HUNGOVERRR] and a bottle of champagne. i drank too much of both, and then was given a free shot of crown by the club owner. please read: unnecessary. 

it was good time; one highlight was walking around with the bottle at the end of the night with the birthday girl because we realized we had some left that nobody was going to drink and offering it to random people. we were pouring vodka into peoples’ mouths till we got ‘caught’ by our VIP host and in trouble for running around with the bottle. I PAID FOR IT, I CAN POUR IT IN RANDOM GIRLS’ MOUTHS IF I WANT!!! …jk we put it back on the table. 

but i repeat: i am too old for this shit. i am hungover and have a messy apartment to clean and i dont wanna! 

usually when im hungover i really struggle with eating well, but i just grabbed my melon and grape snack thingy i posted the other day—i didnt get the chance to eat it at work—and had that, and it helped. im going to chug water like theres no tomorrow and go for a walk later and i should be good to go. but for now, i just feel old and lame for not being able to hang the way i used to!

alright, self, the time has come to admit something: you can’t hang. 

you think you can take shots, but you can’t. you need to stick to beer, bitch, because this hangover is no joke. also, you owe your boyfriend for dumping your barf bucket for you all day long and saying you look beautiful right before you vomited in front of him. 

happy st. patricks dayyy, followers! try not to be too disgusted by me. big updates tomorrow

i went out for a friends birthday last night and apparently had a few too many. today involved vomiting in front of my boyfriend for the first time, which im sure was a turn on, and going to sleep on my floor with no pillow or blanket because the thought of moving the two feet to my bed, well, made me want to vomit again. god, im turning MYSELF on.

i moved to the couch and watched american horror story for the first time. i was kinda whatever about the first episode but it grew on me as it continued. and the second one creeped me out. im a pansy so its not like thats hard to do but im pretty sure ill watch the next episode. 

and uh…thats about it for exercise. ive eaten a bagel with cream cheese and peanut butter crackers today because everything else sounds repulsive, but im going to a friends soon to watch the return of the walking dead and will be eating something there. sorry this post is slightly irrelevant and just plain noneventful. when the room stops spinning ill try and do something cool so i can redeem my ass.

i’m back from san diego! my friend’s wedding was beautiful and fun and i think everyone had a really good time. laura and i enjoyed the trip there—we stopped at a chocolate factory and at a petting zoo with bitchy llamas that wouldn’t let us pet them—but the way back was rough, thanks to hangovers and extreme sleepiness. 

but we’re home! and i’ve got some cool stuff going on:

  • i start my new job today! it’s my first big full-time job so i’m a little nervous, but mostly i’m just excited to get started. 
  • it’s also the day i promised myself [and my boyfriend, because i want him to help me] that i’d focus on exercise and eating right.

the warrior dash is this month—on the 29th—and while i’m not necessarily trying to win the whole thing, i don’t want to be crapping out on the sidelines, either. so my main october goal is to run every day of this month.

even more importantly, my favorite day of the year, halloween, is coming up and i refuse to be out of shape for that!

i’ll be thinking about goals i’d like to set for the month and will post them later! for now i have to finish my breakfast of fruit and [proportioned] cereal and pick a good new first day of work outfit =]

I’m starting my month off a bit hungover—last night was the Zombie Crawl I mentioned a day or two ago! I drank too much, which in my new lightweight status really isn’t much at all, and am now on the couch with a mild headache and an unhappy stomach. 

It’s hard for me to eat well when I’m hungover AND I started shark week yesterday so today will be a challenge, but I’m up for it. For breakfast I had half of a plain English muffin with low-fat strawberry yogurt and a banana with a glass of water, and I’ve yet to have had a snack because my stomach’s not agreeing with me.

Last night I walked my ass off and counted that as the day’s exercise. The zombie crawl entails lots of walking to and from different bars—last year I dropped literally 2 pounds from walking and dancing so much!

I’m thinking today will be running or swimming or both =]

I had [too much] wine at a wedding on Saturday night and spent yesterday down for the count. I was fine until after the reception, when everyone went out to a hotel bar and the groom handed me a shot of whiskey—it was all downhill from there. So I share with you my main thoughts yesterday:

Downside of hangover: I want to curl up in a ball and die, I will never drink wine again, I don’t even like wine why the hell did I drink that much?, OH GOD I WANT TO EAT EVERYTHING AND NOTHING AT THE SAME TIME HOW DOES THIS WORK?!

Upside of hangover: Water water water even more water water water so much water all up in yo face water water water water omg must drink water

Last night I drank my body weight in tequila and beer (that just screams CLASS, I know). Right now I should be insanely hungover and/or dead, so I’m happy to be neither, but I’m also not feeling 100%…maybe more like 30%.

So I’m spending today watching Madagascar—I love that movie, the penguins kill me— and reading like all the cool kids do, and tomorrow I will be back on your dash and in yo face with all kinds of exercise stuff and a new food regime for myself.

I’m officially a vegetarian!

This is the last meat dinner I had—chicken, I shall miss you.

I actually started yesterday, but was dying of a head cold/hangover and didn’t have time to update, just lay on the couch in the fetal position going, “why meeee” every 5 minutes soooo here it is.

 I didn’t eat so hot yesterday thanks to the hangover making me think even the idea of food was repulsive, but today I’ve started off strong with a breakfast of fruits, vegetables, and unbuttered toast with green tea and later am going to try out vegan food for the first time ever; my best friend recommended I check it out.

I’ll keep you guys updated as to how it goes. Unfortunately, we had a family dinner last night that consisted of hot dogs and hamburgers, and those bad boys are sitting in the fridge staring at me right now, so it’s gonna be hard not to touch them. I stuck to eating all the other good stuff on the table and tried not to make eye contact with the hot dogs [I love hot dogssss]. But I’m excited to try out a whole new way of eating and see what kind of cool vegetarian meals I can get into!

I said I was gonna go to bed early tonight—super early, even, like at 10:00!

I wanted to update about a million things today but was a total mess. The past few days I thought it was just allergies bugging me, but I’m an idiot and it was really allergies and a massive head cold coming on. I went out last night and drank because I actually didn’t have to be the driver [I was with someone who doesn’t drive anymore, so obviously 9 1/2 times out of 10 I’m driving us everywhere] and didn’t realize how crappy I really felt, and woke up today feeling like death personified.

I didn’t want to move at all because the hangover was making me want to vomit. I didn’t want to eat because nothing seemed appealing and I didn’t think I’d keep it down, anyway. Even water made me gag. That combined with the fact that I couldn’t breathe and my throat was on fire made for a day that involved me laying on the couch in the fetal position, sleeping, and forcing water down my throat.

And of course, now it’s 2:30am and I’m wide awake. The hangover has passed so now it’s just me and my fever. I’ve been watching episodes of Coming Home and trying [unsuccessfully] not to cry during it because I didn’t want my brother to call me a pansy. I want to punch myself for not being asleep.

That being said, I’m gonna make a real attempt at it now; but when I wake up I’ve got lots to write about and share with you guys!

this is the first time ive been hungover and have NOT craved microwaved pizzas. EVER. i dont know what it is about those little bastards but every time i drink, the next day i am on the mini pizzas JOCK. hardcore. i’d binge on them every time. but i’ve stopped myself many times since beginning my weight loss journey and have only messed up and had them maybe 2 or 3 times at the most, and today i dont want them at all. this is a good step!

NOTE: i currently have no money to spare so i’m not sure how i ended up with so many drinks last night!

well, one of them came from a man who bought my friend and i a margarita at the first place we started at. which was nice of him, but can i please state that i really hate when people buy me drinks? or anything for that matter? it immediately makes me want to pay them back, or i feel like i owe them a drink, but i don’t have the money to spare for buying some random person a i can’t. not anytime soon. plus, buying me a drink is pointless if there’s intent behind it. unless we become friends, nothing else is going to come of that. it’s not like i’m going to be like “thanks for the drink, want me to take my pants off?” or even “oh my god i love margaritas, want to make out?” you’re just going get a “thank you,” a smile, and a handshake, anddd that’s it. so i don’t enjoy people wasting their money on that. but ANYWAY. so the conversation with this nice old man consisted of gems like “so how do you keep in contact with your friends? do you own phones?” yes, and please don’t ask for our numbers, you’re my dad’s age, and then he hit us with “i was watching you guys in the mirror since you came in. you didnt even see me, i was just staring at you the whole time watching you. i saw every move you made, isnt that crazy?!”

yes, sir, that IS crazy. we wanted to be polite since he’d just spent money on drinks for us, so it was ok for him to say hi and have a seat for a minute, but he turned on the creepy hype reeeal fast. sooooo onto the next place. i had two beers and two shots in addition to the margarita i’d pounded in an attempt to get away from norman bates. i’m a bit of a lightweight these days since i’m not nearly as much as i used to, as my food is all proportioned now, so the beers really weren’t necessary.

anyhow. tonight i’m doing ‘friends thanksgiving’ with the group of friends i’ve had since i was 7. it’s gonna be good times, and i’ve decided to try and stick with one of each dish that’ll be served. i’ll have to make a decision when it comes to dessert, because there are ridiculous options available—cheesecakes and pies and i’m pretty sure i saw something about a cake with chocolate and peanut butter, so i’m gonna have to watch myself. but i’m not concerned with going over my caloric limit; i rarely do that and i’m not stopping myself from doing it today. so if it happens, it happens =]

i ate one of the mini pizzas. it’s the only thing i’ve eaten today because the hangover is ruining my life…it’s a life ruiner [mean girls reference!]. i figured having one and getting the craving out of the system would be better than having 5 and binging on the mini-pizzas of doom. plus i need to hit 1000 calories today anyway so i need to start eating.

but quite frankly i dont feel like exercising, i feel like barfing. TMI, sorry.

i miss my dog! he’s with my brother for the weekend…it’s quiet and weird without him. the cats love it though, for sure. i wanted to take the dog out today but now that he’s gone i need to find another form of exercise. i guess i can walk around on my own. that just seems boring to me now though; i love going with mouser.