"Love your body at every weight." "Don’t wait to reach your ultimate weight to love your body."
I’ll take this advice, riiiight now!
I’m currently not at my heaviest weight, nor am I at my lowest—I’m somewhere in between. Not quite fat, but certainly not thin. Instead of getting frustrated by my body, I think I’ll list a few things I enjoy about the weight I’m at this very second:
- I’m extra curvy. I’ve got a pear-shaped body no matter what, but right now, my curves are out in full-force, and I like that.
- I’m stronger than I’ve ever been. I’m barely into the Insanity program and I’m already able to endure more than before; my body isn’t quitting as easily.
- I’m soft. While the ultimate goal is to have a hard stomach and all toned everything, for now, I’ll enjoy the softness of my stomach and my thighs, and know that my boyfriend does too—just a perk.
when i lived in ireland, one of my best friends and i decided that every morning at 6am we would wake up and jog. we’d meet at the halfway point between our houses, because we lived right up the street from each other, go run, and then head to school.
we told my mom this plan in excitement because we thought we were SO cool and fit. she paused for a second and then burst into laughter, which pissed us both off. she said we would NEVER do that in a million years.
determined to prove her wrong, i woke up at 5:55am the next day and called my friend. she answered and told me she was going back to sleep.
the day after that, she called me, and i told her i wasn’t getting up.
my mom STILL rags on us for not doing it.
- SO MUCH WALKING. i walk my ass off at my job.
- 10 minute walk around the neighborhood
- 50 crunches w/medicine ball
- skateboarding, which i’m about to do righttt now. hopefully i don’t eat pavement tonight…last night went so well. it’s only my second night on the board so i’m going to miss holding my boyfriend’s hand.
got my gym shoes on
i rolled out of bed, put on a sports bra and gym shoes and grabbed a plain bagel with cream cheese. i’m ready to run. then i texted a friend to see if she wants to go for a walk when she’s off work, because we always try to coordinate walks around the lake and it never works out. she said yes, so i’ll get in a walk and a run before noon and then move on to my stomach and legs. good start to monday!
and im happy about it!
i got into my swimsuit, grabbed the hunger games and was heading into the hot tub in an attempt soothe my cramps when suddenly i felt guilty for not having gone on a run yet.
i know myself and i know that i wouldnt have ran after the hot tub because i get super sleepy after i go in. so i held onto the “i kinda want to run” feeling, put on my sneakers and headed out the door.
i’m sweating my ASS off but i feel good, physically—and mentally i’m really glad that i got up and did it.
i had a “moment” while driving last night. i know what i want for my next tattoo, and it’s a quote about changes that i learned last year while i was going through some bad times. i don’t want to write about it yet, because i want to wait till after i get it to go into detail, but i do want to say that last night i realized that i don’t feel comfortable tattooing something onto my body permanently that i’m not actually living by. i need to make the right changes and be able to say that yes, this quote does entirely apply to me as a whole. not be a hypocrite and have something on my body that i don’t even follow.
this moment of clarity put me in a good mood for the rest of the night. well, so did laughing with my family and cuddling with my boyfriend, but i was just in a really good mindset. i woke up at 6 this morning, went home and did lots of stomach exercises with my medicine ball, which luckily did not upset my torn tendon whatsoever—nsv? =] i was careful not to move my arm in any weird way, but i was still happy to be holding something fairly heavy and not be feeling and pain. i stopped counting after 50 crunches, but i did variations of sit ups and crunches with the ball in my hands and felt the burn every time i sat up—and it felt awesome.
i ate some homemade granola with raisins for breakfast and had some water and then headed out for a run. this one didn’t feel so good during—for some reason i felt sluggish in the beginning, and im going to blame my period—so i did walk some, but i made sure to power walk when i did and tehn i turned it into power walking for a minute, then jogging for a minute, and alternating that way, so i still felt productive. i also forced myself to sprint up the hills again and thought to myself, this is hard, but it’s certainly do-able. it’s not impossible so i don’t know why i ever thought it was. i came home and took a shower and headed to work, and i feel good.
i packed up some strawberries and carrots for snacks. on fridays, my work provides free bagels, donuts and muffins. i steered clear of those because i tend to go overboard on them [i fucking love bagels 4EVER and put like 10 lbs of cream cheese on them] and instead grabbed a banana and got some hot water for the superfruit/green tea i brought with me from home.
eat well and treat your body right and you feel good. it’s as simple as that.
today i sucked, guys. i won’t lie.
i had fruit for breakfast, alright, good times, no issues there.
then i didn’t have a snack, and then i had NUTTER BUTTERS for lunch. i mean, nutter butters are good as shit, i want them in my mouth at all times. but wtf? SHARK WEEK, PISS OFF. then i had a decent dinner—fresh tortellini [sp? whatever, it was good] with awesome tomatoes and basil and homemade guacamole. but i overdid it a little with the french bread and the chips.
the worst part is that i was going to have reeses ice cream on top of all that, and no i was NOT going to portion it properly cuz that’s not how PMS rolls, but luckily my mom caught me and knew i’d be mad at myself if i over-did it. so yes, i did have my mommy scoop out two small scoops for me to ensure that i didn’t eat too much.
tomorrow will be much better, i promise! back to veggies and protein and calcium and vitamin A and whatnot. and NO NUTTER BUTTERS or ice cream or any of that crap. i also run tomorrow, and im actually excited for it.
on the exercise note, i’m changing my biking day to sundays—on thursdays i get home too late and i dont really want to go alone in the dark just yet, so sundays will suffice.
i’ll update with some better stuff tomorrow, promise!
why do i always procrastinate before a run?
so i ended up running closer to 10pm than 9pm like i previously posted. i just really didnt want to get up and do it but i knew i had to since this is week one of my mon/weds/fri running plan and thatd just be a FAIL if i didnt go.
seriously, within the first 10 steps i’m loving it. this time i forced myself to sprint up the hills when i reached them instead of walking or lightly jogging up them as i sometimes do. it burned, but it felt good. i also ran more of the course than i ever have before, so that’s a win.
the best part? before i left the house, i told my parents that if i wasnt back by a certain time to send out a search party for me, since its dark out and thats kind of creepy…
…and when i got back to the house, i saw my dad waiting outside on the curb waiting for me to make sure i was ok out there alone.
that’s nice in any circumstance, i know. but my dad and i have had a really shitty, rocky relationship and i’m really resentful about the fact that i feel like he either A) seriously doesn’t give a shit about me or B) does a really awesome job of ACTING like he doesnt. so when he does shit like that, it’s really touching to me.
better late than never
so it’s almost 9pm and I DONT WANNA run but i’m about to. it’s so late because today went like this:
7:30am drive home from boyfriend’s house after designated cuddle time [every morning for at least 5 minutes, it’s the best]
8:30am start work
5:45pm get off work
sit in traffic till 6:25
eat dinner in car
go directly into conference call at 7:00pm
end conference call at 8pm
want to go run but also want to sit on ass for 5 freaking minutes
…and now, 9:00pm, i shall run. update laterrrr!
i don’t know if i’ll stick to this or not; i’m not going to lock myself into anything in the long-term because we all saw how THAT went last year [if you need a reminder: it didn’t]. but for the rest of february, i’d like to stick to this:
running on mon, weds, fri: around my neighborhood. in the morning or at night, doesnt matter so long as it gets done. i usually only run around it once, but i’d like to eventually reach the point where i can go around it a few times, or without stopping at least.
bike rides on thursday: a minimum of a 20 minute ride, starting tomorrow.
fitness classes: i’ll definitely be utilizing my pure barre class groupon by the end of the month, but i’d like to fit in as many as possible. this will be entirely dependent on my arm, of course, and so im not going to push it. but i do want to attend a class at least once so i can stick to my one-new-thing-a-month idea, because i really love the idea of doing a new physical activity once a month for the whole year.
if i stick to this ‘schedule’ for the rest of the month in addition to maintaining my current eating habits, i think i can definitely hit my goal of losing 4 lbs this month—i’m already down .08 =]
last week: 134.2
this week: 133.4
total weight lost since january 1st: 7 lbs
like last week, this again isn’t a huge loss, but i’m happy to see 133 instead of 134 and am glad to be continually losing as the weeks fly by as opposed to gaining or even maintaining, no matter how small the losses are. ive decided to run mondays, wednesdays, and fridays, so that means that i’m jogging around the neighborhood tonight after dinner. i’ll update about that after i do it.
as always, seeing the number on the scale go down pushes me further into motivation, so today i have no urges to eat anything shitty—but shark week is lurking yet again, so i need to watch out for that little fucker.
before i run: wow not interested in doing this at allllll
as i'm getting my running clothes on: there are 900 other things i would rather be doing right now
as i'm stretching: ok make that 1,000
when i get my music on and start to run: OH GOD I LOVE IT
halfway through: ohfuckicantbreatheimactuallyhavingaheartattackimonly25howisthishappening
when i'm done: ok that was fast. it's already over? that wasn't that bad! huh!
2 minutes later: CAN'T BREATHE AGAIN HELP ME
10 minutes later: i love running! i'm a running MASTER! i want to run all day every day! my body feels amazing! i have all the energy in the world! can't wait till tomorrow!
and as for today thus far…
Today I decided to do my ‘main’ exercise when I get home from work; I always like how I feel after exercising when im done eating for the day, is that weird? I just prefer it. So this morning I decided to focus on my arms. I used the medicine ball again to do 50 arm exercises, incorporating my stomach into some of them and doing variations of crunches with the ball. Im undecided as to what id like to do when I get home; I want to get better at riding my bike—im super wobbly right now, its kind of sad to be honest…I almost ate shit like 3 times yesterday—but id also like to jump rope or go for a jog. Maybe ill do all 3 =]
I also need to figure something out for dinner but I want to incorporate some more protein and veggies since ive mostly had fruit today. I got jamba juice again [seriously, its an addiction, I need help] but went back to the apples & greens this time; I like the combination of vegetables with fruit and the fact that im getting in 3 servings while drinking something I love. Its an effortless way to get in some good stuff, cant hate on that.
i just found out that my company has a pie day. WTF?! stop feeding me amazing things!!
I wasn’t mad for an hour, yesterday, I was angry literally all day. I shut myself in my room and didn’t talk to anyone. I turned my phone off for a while. I laid in bed and just wallowed in my anger.
But then I reminded myself of my new favorite quote that’s been circulating the Fitblr community, and I saw all of the amazingly nice things you guys wrote me, and I told myself to stop being a hypocrite: how am I going to tell other people to not let someone else’s words get them down, while I’m over here basking in self-pity? Stupid.
I feel better today. It still stung; I’m not saying I’m happy about it. But I refer to don’t look at how far you have to go, look at how far you’ve come, and I know that that’s what I have to do in order to not feel defeated.
So aaaanyways, yesterday’s exercise consisted of a TON of walking. Today I haven’t done much, but after I type this I’m going to play with my hoop and medicine ball for a while. I’ll write more detailed entries after the holiday weekend is over!
Thank you again to everyone who was supportive yesterday; you guys are the best. It’s really sweet that so many of you took the time to write something nice, and I equally enjoyed the threats to beat some ass for me…that’s true love right there haha <3
So many new followers!
Pretty sure I’ve got a little birdie named M to thank for that; I appreciate my forever-favorite healthiereveryday recommending me for Tumblr Tuesday! Thank you M, you’re so supportive and I can never say thank you enough times for that.
So hi to everyone new; when I’ve got some more time today I want to check out everybody’s blogs and follow some of you back!
I went on my second 2-mile run today and did much better this time. It was cool to see how many of you could relate to my pain yesterday! Today I set certain goals for myself and smashed them every time, so that was exciting—I’d tell myself to run till I hit 50 calories, then push past it, or I’d allow myself a break if I ran for a certain amount of time without stopping, and then keep going after I hit that mark. There was definitely some power-walking involved but I know I’m going to get there!
My legs are definitely sore now but I’m glad that they are. I’m really happy I didn’t let the soreness from yesterday stop me from going today; I felt awesome as I was doing it and I’m ready to do it again [tomorrow!]
It’s HOT today so I’m for sure hoping to get in the pool at some point! I’ll share the rest of today’s exercises later <3