Peace out, pudge!

we’re moving today! 

I’M GOING TO LIVE WITH A BOY! AHHHH.

james and i are going to have a “date” tonight on a cardboard box and discussed just getting something quick, like pizza, which at first i was down with. but after thinking about it, i’d like to get something healthy for our first meal in there. i don’t want to start out with something greasy and gross; i want the first meal to set the tone for how we’re going to eat in our new place. 

that might sound crazy. but whatever. he said he thinks that’s a good idea, so woohoo, healthy shitttt.

this is the latest i’ve been up in a really long time. i don’t even think i was up this late on new year’s eve—fuck you, full-time job, for making me tired and lame all the time! i used to be such a night-owl and now i’m wiped out by 9pm! son of a…

anyway. i’m mostly up because i randomly started watching a million episodes of glee, and i was GOING to go to sleep but then matt bomer popped up as darren criss’ brother and there is NOTHING wrong with that so i couldn’t turn off the TV. so here i am. 

i’m partly up because tomorrow i move into my first apartment with my boyfriend and i feel WEIRD. and NERVOUS. and excited, of course, but also very scared. i’ve lived in this house for 10 years and ive obviously never lived with a guy before so i’m feeling a little freaked out. luckily, james is extremely sweet and understanding that this is new for me so he’s being awesome to put me at ease. 

i didnt come here to ramble, though—i came to tell you guys that i feel like a whole new me will be emerging [jesus,THAT was cheesy sounding] for lots of reasons but also largely because i think this move will be so great for my health.

we live across from a lake and have an awesome gym in the apartment, and james and i have agreed to shop and eat clean. i am so excited to see what this move does to my body because i really believe its about to be epic.

i had raspberry flavored chobani and put some blackberries/blueberries on top of it since i had them with me already—omg. definitely getting more of this stuff ASAP. and i feel full, which is nice; i hate having a snack then still being hungry, no likey.

lunch is a shakeology recipe w/a banana, all-natural peanut butter, almond milk and water; the past few days i tried making my own recipes and BARF. SO BAD. never again. i’ll stick to what i know and love, thanks.

you know i can’t lie to youuuu. on the fun scale, this weekend was so good. in regards to good eating, it was SO BAD. i’m going to break this up into different posts, so be prepared. and pretend i sang “be prepared” in scar’s voice. and if you don’t know who i’m referring to when i say SCAR we might have a problem.

so on friday i taught a class of 3rd graders for a program through my work called ‘junior achievement.’ my friend asked me to volunteer with her and i was excited for it till about 2 nights before when i asked myself what the hell are you doing, you don’t even really like kids and this is kiiinda scary since, uh, you’re not a teacher. nor do you have any training.

but i went and i LOVED it! i LOVED the kids and enjoyed the teacher i worked with and it was really fun running my own class. the kids and i did fun activities where they built their own mini-businesses out of paper houses/stores and placed them on a   big ‘city map’ on the floor, which they loved, and they got to make their own fake newspaper, which again was a hit.

UNFORTUNATELY i, for some dumb reason, thought i would be cool not bringing a food/shakeology because lunch and breakfast was provided for the volunteers.

bad idea, buddy. the only thing provided for breakfast were bagels. the only thing provided for lunch was PIZZA. and then i went home, ate dinner, then got a surprise. 

my boyfriend and i got into a fight on thursday night. it wasn’t serious. it was because i was being a baby about the fact that i didn’t get to pick the color i wanted for the accent wall that is going to be painted in our living room [i’m serious]. i was REALLY mean to him. and i don’t think it was over the accent wall, i think it was me channeling my nerves over the fact that we’re moving soon into bitchiness and taking it out on him over…paint colors.

so what does this freak of nature do? instead of getting mad at me, or telling me to back off, or not speaking to me, or anything NORMAL, he calls me and says we’re going on a surprise date. then takes me to freaking la fondue.

i’d never been before so i was so excited when i saw where we were going. the place is beautiful and while i wish he hadnt spent so much money, especially when i didnt deserve it, we had an awesome time and the fondue was amazing. we had chocolate and cheese fondue, and tried kangaroo for the first time! so that was interesting. 

as you can see, friday was NOT healthy whatsoever. mah bad. but it WAS a super fun day, so give a fuuuuck.

my allergies were absolutely terrible about a week ago; the thought of being outside was just a no-go for me because even huddled up inside away from the evil pollen i was still unable to breathe, my eyes were watery as shit and my throat was scratchy. i just felt really miserable so i was trying pretty much anything i could (my coworker hooked it up with zyrtec, which unfortunately makes me really drowsy, but it was funny because he put the pills in a plastic baggie and it looked shady as fuck so my parents and i had an awkward “no those aren’t what you think they are!” moment) when my mom finally decided to throw out this gem—bee pollen capsules.

i guess when she was younger her mom suggested them to her, and she was doubtful too. because it sounds weird as hell; i thought so too. but they are working SO well! im not 100% yet but i actually went on a walk with a friend after work yesterday and was just fine. before, i couldn’t even step outside without tearing up and sneezing my face off.

 i got them at GNC and i am so thrilled with them. they’re helping me so much. i googled them before buying (duh) and loads of people have had good results with them. plus my mom says that after taking them regularly for a while, she just stopped getting allergies altogether.

i love this stuff and after trying a million other things i know that i will not try anything else again; this is a natural method and is helping me so much. i recommend bee pollen capsules to anyone who is suffering from allergies. get on that shit.

breakfast: 2 scrambled eggs on whole wheat english muffin with a handful of blackberries & blueberries

first snack: banana with almond butter

lunch: shakeology. this was the first time ive made a shakeology recipe and hated it. i will not be repeated the same idea because it was gross!

second snack: 5 red, yellow and orange small bell peppers

“dessert:” 5 small dove chocolates

 dinner: TBD

exercise: tbd but my friend and i are likely going for a walk shortly so thatll be the first thing i do; i slept in this morning by accident so i wasn’t able to get any exercise in, i was so annoyed by that!

Breakfast: 3 eggs scrambled with ½ green apple slices

Snack 1: banana with almond butter

Lunch: protein shake

Snack 2: walnuts with dried cranberries and infused pomegranate juice

Random: 5 small pieces of Dove chocolate

Dinner: large salad with iceberg lettuce and cucumbers, tomatoes, olives, bell peppers, and chicken

“Dessert:” FiberOne bar

there’s this kinda older guy at my work who’s doing a security job that doesn’t pay well and he was really unhappy with it but took it because he needs a job and money is money. but hes having a tough time; he had to move in with his sister for support and his father just passed away and he’s just having a rough go of things right now.

he’s this really sweet man who is always SO friendly and he just tries SO hard to be positive and helpful and its hard not to feel for him.

so today i come in and he goes, “this is the last day you’ll see me in a security uniform, its my last day,” so i was like whatttt where are you going?!

he told me that one of the directors offered him a position in the lab paying twice his current salary and that he starts tomorrow. he was so excited about it i nearly cried. i fucking welled up in front of him. its just really nice to see someone—especially someone high up in the company—go out of their way to help someone else out, and because its someone so deserving its even better. he’s just walking around the office smiling today and it’s awesome. i’m going to bring him a congratulations card for him tomorrow; this is a huge deal for him and im so glad it happened.

on top of that, i got the book “two kisses for maddy,” written by the father whose wife gave birth and then passed away unexpectedly the next day. i guess i wanted to cry 900 times in one sitting because im halfway through and have teared up every other page because i go and start thinking about how scary and horrible that must have been and get stressed out about the fact that this guy had a freaking newborn to raise while grieving for his freaking wife. oh godddd.

alright im back haha.

one of my coworkers asked me how ive been feeling since i started the 10-day challenge and then said, “im not allowed to comment on how you look because thatd be inappropriate and HR would be on my ass so ill just ask you, how do you feel, do you think you see results?” and i laughed and said “yes, i definitely feel a difference. i have more energy and im pretty sure ive lost at least a couple of pounds” and he smiled and nodded.

ill just take that as a good thing. and i do hope others can see some kind of difference but even if they dont, i definitely do see the start of something really good. i really feel like im ACTUALLY doing this and really see myself getting to my goal sooner rather than later.

i have all the right tools to do well and get to where i want right now, and ive never had things going so in my favor when it comes to losing weight—my parents have finally bought healthier food, im moving out and will soon be surrounded by good stuff, ill be living in a complex with a great free gym AND fitness classes, and ill be living directly across from a lake that is 2 miles around. my boyfriend is also bent on getting back into shape—hes been out of commission due to an injured shoulder, and then he had surgery on it so hes disappointed by the muscle he’s lost in the meantime—and hes a really positive influence on me in lots of different ways, so i know that with the two of us sharing the common goal of getting toned up, its going to be such a good thing.

i am so so excited for this. and so glad i took part in this challenge; i feel like by taking a realistic approach and eating food and drinking drinks that i enjoy, i enabled myself to really get the first few pounds off and set myself in the right direction.

and by PARTY i mean me wrapped in a blanket on the couch for about 5 straight hours watching TVD (still team stefan. 4 LYFE. sorry. i love me some damon but STEFANNNNNNNN), gossip girl (which i think has gone downhill and is absolute shitcrapridiculouslyidioticpieceofshitdumb but i CAN’T. STOP. WATCHING), and new girl, wondering for the 9 millionth time if i find schmidtt (sp? dont judge me, its late) hot or not.

i’ve wanted food for the last hour and a half but it’s not because i’m hungry, it’s because i’m stressed and annoyed. two sets of plans did not work out, work made me want to punch a baby—and i left the office at 6, not 5 like i was soso excited about doing because i NEVER get to, and thanks to traffic i got home after 7—and then the absurd happened. boyfriend started a fight. HE started an argument, with ME. 

first of all, we hardly ever fight. i cant even be mad at the guy because hes too fucking cute so i usually get mildly irritated and then he smiles or something and then thats over. plus he never does anything to piss me off anyways because he’s so laid back and precious so if we DO have any issues, it’s ME starting them because let’s face it, i’m psychotic. 

anyway. i digress. the point is that he started it (that sounded like a 5th grader, but it’s true, mommy, he did) and now im just sitting on my ass, alone, watching shows and searching random things on the internet and suddenly, i want food. 

but im not hungry. im just stressed. so its not me needing food, its me wanting food to fill the void. i hate that i get like this, and that it’s so hard to control, but i just poured myself a glass of water with lots of ice and will be focusing on that. food will not make me happy right now; i’m still full from my dinner. 

anyway. i hope you all enjoyed this random rambling. and that your friday night was happier than mine was. now if you’ll excuse me, i want to find out if cece is pregnant or not, and see what happens when jess babysits russell’s daughter. 

go kayaking. i am currently wiped out from stroking all day long [that’s what she said?] 

just try not to tip your kayak and end up in the ocean like boyfriend and i did =]

more on that later!