Peace out, pudge!

i was naturally thin, a girl who proudly flaunted her body and the fact that it took nothing to keep it looking toned and tiny. binge-eating entered the picture in my early 20s, and the pounds packed on. in 2010 i took off 20+ pounds, but after getting my first "big girl job" in an office and having access to free food, i gave in and gained it all back. since then, it's been a roller coaster of gaining and losing weight AND gaining and losing love for my body. currently, i'm recovering from a back injury and still striving to get my body to look the way i want it to, but throughout the journey i've found a self-appreciation i never had before. if you're okay with some dirty words, lame jokes, and lots of cat pictures, follow along to keep up with my progress. i promise to always keep it interesting. <3
Posts tagged "walking"

One of my friends and I said we’d get together for a walk today. Of course, when we finally both have time for that, Northern California decided to finally get some rain (we’ve been drought-status for a while now, and even though the sun is pretty and all, we need some rain over here). So that’s good, but we decided to shift our walk to the mall instead.


I don’t want to buy new clothes when I’m rapidly losing weight and inches! I’d rather wait till I’m where I want to be and go celebrate with some new-sized stuff :)

Good thing: I’m not worried about buying any food today. I don’t want anything that isn’t in today’s planned intake, and I’m glad I didn’t wake up with any cravings for once.

Met up with James at The Sizzling Stone for a dindin date after work! I had the seafood soup which had clams in it and therefore was excellent, and my bowl was full of brown rice, beef, corn, carrots, cucumber, lima beans, lettuce, onions, mushrooms…so many good things! I had two cups of water to top it off.

I walked 8,788 steps at work and over 3,000 at the lake this morning so I passed my goal of walking 10,000 today. I also drank over a liter of water so FUCK YEAHHHH GOALS WERE REACHED!

  1. James and I failed at grocery shopping last night. Um, again. Unfortunately, we decided to eat at Sweet Tomatoes, which started off healthy with a salad—with balsamic dressing, no less—and then slipped into saladdessertandtoomuchbread. I didn’t necessarily OVER eat, but I did have things that really weren’t needed. I could have done without the brownie; it wasn’t even that good. 
  2. But I did work out my stomach and arms as promised, which made me feel less bloated. 50 varied kettle bell lifts and 150 varied tummy exercise later, and I felt good.
  3. I drank nearly two liters of water yesterday and am about halfway through my 1.5 liter bottle right now.
  4. I will be on my feet all day today; I’m headed to the gym after this post, and picked up a shift for tonight from 5:00-8:30 to make some extra money, so I’ll be walking through that whole thing. Then I’m headed to the Saddle Rack tonight because a friend is in town and it’s sacriligious to not go when she’s here. She’s the one who taught ambrizzo and I about the joys of Thanksgiving Eve/Black Wednesday when we were young and innocent 21-year-olds, and we’ve gone out every year since. 
  5. I think before I go I’ll be drinking some of the liquour someone left over from our Halloween party. That way I A) won’t spend money and B) won’t put beer in my body, because I love me some beer and it doesn’t love my stomach. Also, I’m a freaking lightweight now so a little vodka will probably last me all night. This place is going to be ridiculously crowded with A) people I probably don’t want to see and B) every guy I’ve ever hooked up with in my entire life, so alcohol may be required.

I think that’s everything I wanted to share. I’m off to the gym now, more updates tonight =] 

Half asleep, but didn’t want to slack on this, so here you go :)

Breakfast: Banana, grapes, greek yogurt, egg

Snack: Red, yellow and orange bell peppers

Lunch: Leftovers; lean beef burger on wheat bun with tomato and onion

Snack: Wheat bun with peanut butter

Dinner: Spicy green beans and tofu with an avocado smoothie

Water: 2 liters+

Exercise: 10 min VS fat blaster workout that did indeed beat my ass—I’ll be sore tomorrow. And a 15 minute run/walk through San Francisco streets that had me sweating like a pig for the 2nd time today

My friends and I walked the Golden Gate bridge yesterday! I haven’t done it since I was a kid, so it was fun to go do something touristy. I live about 45 minutes from San Francisco and I literally have no idea why I’m not there more often; I love the city. The bridge was beautiful and the walk was a lot of fun.

….it also kicked our asses. In total, with the walk to the bridge, across it, BACK across it, and back to the car, we walked nearly 7 miles. I dressed for the cold, because I was anticipating winds and the usual San Francisco chill, but that’s what I get for not checking the weather first—it was hot as shit out there. My outfit was so unnecessary and I looked like a dumb ass snow bunny who was lost in the wrong town. I also didn’t have enough water on me, so by the time we got to the car, we were all beat. 

I got on the scale this morning and was really disappointed. Really, really irritated. It said 139.6. I was at 137 the last time I weighed in and was hoping to go downwards. I’m going to let the annoyance ride over me and then get past it, because I do feel good and that’s what matters, but sometimes the weight loss journey is a rough road and this is one of those weeks where the process is not on my good side. 

I want to spend the next 3 months working as hard as possible to get this done. I want to enter 2014 feeling good about myself and being comfortable in my own skin and clothing. I don’t want to step into a new year wondering why I still haven’t made a change. I would be really disappointed then, and being disappointed with yourself is the worst.

I was visiting my parents and decided to walk instead of drive. It’s just over a mile away so I should really be doing this more often than not.

Unfortunately I didn’t walk home. My baddddd it got way too hot and I was wearing sweats. Next time, I promise to walk both ways!

I’m at 50 oz of water so far so once again the bathroom and I are best friends. I’m about to play with the kettle bell, which I still, even after all these years, love to hate.

I walked around the lake with this adorable baby and his adorable mama today; it’s two miles around and took us about 25 minutes or so. Now I’m about to go destroy James at laser tag, which probably sounds like a joke but is a legit workout. Also I’m really going to beat his ass.

I’m going with a group of my friends tomorrow to a bacon festival in San Jose. 

Pros: I’m excited to be hanging out with everyone, I’ll be getting a lot of walking in, I’m curious as to what exactly an entire FESTIVAL dedicated to bacon will entail.

Cons: There’s going to be bacon products and all kinds of other unhealthy foods all up in my face and it’s going to be really tough not to shove it all in my mouth. 

I’ve talked to James about it and recruited him as my “assisant” for the day. Basically his sole responsibility is to save me from myself and stop me from making bad decisions. 

The only thing I really want is bacon beer. I’ve tried it once and wanted it in and around my mouth for the rest of my life. So if it’s there tomorrow [and why would it not be? That’d just be wrong. Sick and wrong!], I want it. Besides that? I think I’ll be bringing a lunch. And definitely eating before we go. As magical as it sounds, my breakfast does not need to be a bacon-wrapped ANYTHING.

I weigh in on Monday again and I would really love to be able to cross off a pound—or two!—off the chart I made and stuck on the fridge!! 

in case you’re wondering what i’m doing over here [i’m 99.9% sure you weren’t wondering that, but i’m going to flatter myself and pretend you can’t eat or sleep without my updates] here’s an overview of my week thus far:

  1. monday. i rock climbed with laura for about an hour or so. of course, i wasnt continuously climbing for that amount of time—pretty sure i would have keeled over and died if i were—but we were consistent with switching off and keeping active. plus, when i was on the ground i made sure to keep moving so my legs wouldn’t give out. that day my eating was on point; 2 liters of water, lots of fruit and veggies, nothing random and no dessert-type food.
  2. tuesday. laura and i walked 2 miles around the lake. it wasnt fast-paced or anything, but its still a good solid 20 minutes of movement, and i was sweating like a little piglet because the weather decided to go from overcast and windy to randomly sunny and i was wearing an effing hoodie…..and sweats. god i turn myself ON sometimes. food was excellent till dinner, when james, samantha [the sister i’m in love with. hi sweet cheeks.] and i decided to go to a mexican spot down the street BUT that being said, i had the veggie burrito, stuck to water—and that’s hard, ok?! it was happy hour!—and stopped eating when i was full, even with quite a bit left on the plate. the only thing that wasn’t good was the fact that the tortilla chips had a good deal of salt on them and i tend to bloat like a mofo due to water retention.
  3. wednesday. eating was good again. lots of water. the 1-liter bottle i picked up on monday has really made that easier; i just fill it up and carry it everywhere with me. in the evening i swam at my parents’ house for about 30 minutes
  4. thursday [today]. it’s earlyish, so i’ve only had breakfast, which was watermelon, cantaloupe and nectarine, which was reeeeally good. i’m halfway through my liter. litre? wow this is going to bug me all day, i’m too lazy to google that. carrying on: so i ate breakfast and hopped in the pool before heading out for the day. i got in about 20 minutes of swimming. i think lunch will be feta, parsley, chicken and bell pepper on an english muffin. not sure about dinner. but i’ll be doing some more exercise later, too, so i’ll update on that after the fact!

i totally pulled the muscle in my left forearm while rock climbing yesterday and it hurts like a biiiiitch.

however, i will not whine about it at home because on saturday, james went mountain biking and ate it at one point, and when he did, the bike’s tire hit him in the back of the knee. instead of stopping its rotation when it hit him, it kept turning, and since he was caught, it continued to tear his skin off. so he’s walking like a pirate and has a huge gauze pack on the back of his leg and i’m not trying to look like a weenie with a pulled muscle!

rock climbing was still fun though. laura and i climbed a few different walls. i only reached the top once, which was disappointing, but i came close to the top several times and reminded myself that it was my first time trying it. i dont know why i get this idea in my head that i have to be some rock climbing expert beast at the first attempt. i would definitely like to go back again and try to reach the top of the walls i didnt make it to yesterday!

this morning laura and i walked 2 miles. tomorrow evening i’m going to swim. 

on sunday i ate like shit, and i paid the price for that. my stomach was messed up that night and i just felt gross in general—bloated, heavy, you know the deal. i stayed up till 4:30am—i just couldnt sleep, which is terrible because 26 aint the same as 16 where you can stay up that late and be good to go the next day, let me tell you—and asked myself, “was this worth it?” no. “do you feel good?” no. “are you happy you ate all that?” no. yesterday i was back on track and i already feel 100% better =] 

yesterday was awesome in terms of my activity level; i’ve been way more active lately than i have been in a LONG time. yesterday i took the bike out for nearly an hour, which i wrote about, and later james and i snuck into our old apartment complex’s pool like ninjas and swam for awhile. 

on the 4th i went to some huge ass mansion that my friend is house sitting at and swam for most of the day, which was super fun. and i’ve been getting in a lot more walking.

today i plan on getting in arm exercise with the kettle bell, going for a long walk and taking my bike out for another ride; i want to get on it every day so i get comfortable again. also so going up hills doesnt make me want to pass out and die. there’s that too.

Uhh I wrote a decently-sized update earlier and it apparently didn’t post. Don’t cockblock me, Tumblr, I’m just trying to love you! I’m going to try and remember everything I wrote:

  • So I unknowingly over-did it with my cookie allowance on Thursday. I got new ones for my daily cookie intake that I’ve been doing, without realizing just how “bad” those new ones were. I went to plug them into my points for the day and realized they basically WERE my points for the day. On Friday I headed into work with the remainder of the cookies with a note on top that read, “FOR THE LOVE OF GOD KEEP THESE AWAY FROM ME,” put them on my friend’s desk, and that was the end of that. 
  • Today I was on my feet ALL day. James and I got a lot done today; we got plants for the loft and some wood for the bar that we’re making in the living room. We were running around hardware stores all day long. It was good exercise.
  • THEN one of my friends stopped by and we went for a long ass walk together since it’s nice out tonight and I was showing her the new place and new area. We talked a lot about my struggle with binging and my new Weight Watchers membership. It was nice to be doing something productive while discussing all that. 
  • That’s all I can remember for now. 

Updates tomorrow; I work from 9am-6pm and will most likely be bored…sucks for youuuu because I’m about to blow up your dash!

Until tomorrow!


I talked to James this morning about how I was feeling last night. I told him that I was sorry for taking things out on him and that I think I am depressed. He agreed and said he notices things, like the fact that I get straight into bed after work and that I’ve been neglecting important stuff that needs to be done. To his credit he has tried to talk about all this with me before but I always blew it off. So this time I listened and we’re on the same page.

I also shared with him more than I ever have about my eating issues. I was never fully forthcoming about my binging, which is unfair to us both because he genuinely does try to support me…so honesty is key. I told him about sneaking food around, hiding the bags…everything that I do related to binging. I think he finally understands how serious it is now, that it isn’t something that can be cured immediately. I’m glad I shared.

I told him that I believe I’m my own worst enemy and that I know what I need to do to be happy again, and he agreed to help in any way he can. 

So today we’re knocking out my to-do list together, so I can take care of everything I’ve been neglecting. Then we’re going for a walk, to get some sunshine and some exercise. 

I made us both smoothies for breakfast; I had a banana and a strawberry smoothie with whey protein, organic vanilla yogurt, and milk. It was good and I’m glad I started the day on a positive note. 

I didn’t drink as much water as I usually do yesterday, so today I’m kind of forcing myself to—even though I had the home-made orange juice with breakfast, I’m also going to have an entire water bottle right now, too, and carry one with me for the rest of the day so I stay on top of it. 

Despite it being cold as shit outside, I’m going to walk. My back is really limiting me from doing anything else; some days are better than others but the past 2 haven’t been good. So I’m going to bundle up and put on a million layers [HATEHATEHATE being cold] and head out to the lake or wherever my little feet take me and explore. I love being outside, I don’t do it often enough, and that’s kind of sad in itself. So might as well knock out two birds with one stone and get some exercise and some exploration in at one time. 

I have some cleaning to get done and then I’m heading to a co-workers party/get together…I have a feeling that this might be bit crazy so if you see a drunk post later don’t judge meeee.

Yesterday’s exercise came in the form of lots of walking. James and I went to downtown San Jose with his family to see the lights and rides at Christmas In The Park. I want to go ice skating but I’m not cleared by the chiropractor; more on that later :(